plotonium 

Element

Atomic weight: Variable

Properties: entirely dependent on the story requirements of whichever science illiterate hack has been commissioned to write this week's episode of your favourite science fiction show.

Related to Unobtanium. The principle difference being that Unobtanium is usually the maguffin that drives the plot whilst Plotonium resolves the corner the writer wrote themselves into.

Dilithium is the magical material that drives warp drives in Star Trek and, despite the series having strong science advisors on hand, writers still tested in-story credibility to breaking point.

"The Plotonium fuel rods have overheated and disrupted the flow of Unobtanium to the Maguffin drive....we're all doomed!"

plotonium by Apocrypha September 29, 2013

Polonium Cocktail

1. A mixed drink. It can be made with any combination of liquers or soft drinks. The only salient ingredient is Polonium 210 (Po-210). Po-210 is an alpha emitter that has a half-life of 138.376 days. A milligram of Po-210 emits about as many alpha particles per second as 4.5 grams of Radium-226. As such, an extremely small amount (50 nanograms!) that is ingested will result in a painful death that takes several weeks to complete. Hence a Polonium Cocktail is NOT something you want to order from your bartender.

Po-210 poisioning is an assassination technique that was developed by the KGB in the 1970s. The Po-210 poisoning of Alexander Litvinenko in 2006, allegedly by former KGB agents Andrei Lugovoi and Dmitri Kovtun, after Litvinenko wrote scathing books about Vladimir Putin, shows that the assassination technique is still in use by the current Russian trauponcracy.

If you criticize Vladimir Putin, he'll send you a Polonium Cocktail. Just ask Alexander Litvinenko. Wait, you can't, because he's dead.

Polonium Cocktail by Dan Weyandt August 7, 2009

Plotanium 

n. A material invented purely to further the plot of a story, without any regard given to its scientific feasibility.

Jonathan: So how did they turn the planet Vulcan into a black hole?

Richard: Oh, they used red matter, of course. Don't worry about how it works, it's 100% pure plotanium.

Plotanium by therichardstill May 8, 2009

Plutonium 

A naturally radioactive, silvery, metallic transuranic element, occurring in uranium ores and produced artificially by neutron bombardment of uranium. Its longest-lived isotope is Pu 244 with a half-life of 76 million years.

I just ate a few pounds of plutonium.

Plutonium by Eyeballflyball July 15, 2003

Plutonium Blast Rifle 

Slang for any type of bong with a very large capacity for smoke.

Captain: load the plutonium blast rifle!
Ensign: AYE SIR!
Captain: Ignite Plutonium blast rifle!
Captain: :::::BUBBLING:::::
Captain: :::::violent Coughing:::::
seconds later.....
Ensign: sir do you need to report to sick bay?
Captain: shutup chris!

Plutonium Blast Rifle by Neb sicnarf January 16, 2008

Pootonium 

Horrendous foul-smelling shit, often discovered after a curry or more often known as 'beer shits'. The smell of pootonium is highly toxic and should be avoided at all costs.

Dave: I wouldn't go in there for a while, I just dropped my guts.

Steve: Smells like some weapons-grade pootonium!

Pootonium by likeakipper8 January 16, 2011

Polonium Radon 

The periodic table version of porn, often selected over other ionic compounds because the two elements' symbols together create the compound PoRn, spelling porn.

Man 1: Hey man, did you catch that PoRn last night?
Man 2: Aw yeah, the atoms in the Polonium were so raw, and it went well with the gassy Radon.
Man 1: Polonium Radon is the best!

Polonium Radon by Horny and Porny October 24, 2017