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Hooked On Phonics 

A prgram for illiterate people, mostly children. It teaches how to read and write through different exercises. You can get it by dialing 1800-ABC-DEFG
How the hell am i supposed to order hooked on phonics by dialing ABCDEFG if i can't read?
Hooked On Phonics by Diego Giraldez December 28, 2005
Related Words

phonic thug 

anyone who uses his phone / portable audio device on public transport, forcing their fellow passengers to listen to horrifically tinny blasts of what are usually the lamest songs on the radio

offenders usually require multiple requests to lower the volume / turn off the device, and it always helps if more than one person gets involved.
"hey, kid! turn that shit off! damned phonic thugs intruding on my phone calls..."

"the ride sucked - some phonic thugs hopped on just after me, and that's gotta be the worst sounding crap i've ever heard. i'd be embarrassed if people thought i listened to that pathetic shit"

"dude - i'm trying to sleep / read / not tear your stupid phonic thug head off, shut that shit down or get off the damn bus!"
phonic thug by geek.neo April 29, 2010

Phonics Monkey 

The Phonics Monkey from that one episode of South Park where Cartman misspelled CHAIR in a spelling bee. When Cartman tried to get help from the phonics monkey, it just started beating off behind its drumbset.
A consumer report included the growing number of returns of the infamous reading product, the Phonics Monkey, which just turns out to be a degenerate species of bonobo chimp.
Phonics Monkey by aka_Pyro April 6, 2007

phoenicia, ny 

a small & wonderful town located on the banks of the espous creek in the heart of the catskill mountains of upstate new york... in 2011 voted 6th coolest small town in the usa... being located in a region dense with artists, writers, musicians & the like, phoenicia is home to an eclectic mix of interesting people & has fascinating local color for such a diminutive hamlet... mt.tremper provides a beneficent backdrop & makes the view up main street very picturesque...
upstate esopus new york catskills mt.tremper ulster county phoenicia, ny phoenicia
phoenicia, ny by s~dizzle March 4, 2011

Hooked on phonics 

A program used by children to learn how to read. It is commonly used to describe a person who cannot read or pronounce words correctly. Alternatively, it can be used to insult a person who doesn't read well.
I don't know how to pronounce this (fucks the word up horribly). You know I'm hooked on phonics.

Jane: reads from a history book out loud in class, but stumbles through the reading.
Classmate: This bitch needs to be hooked on phonics.

Phoenician 

1. A member of an ancient people (1600-300 BCE) in the Mediterranean. They were remarkable for their seafaring achievements.

2. People from Phoenix who have no grasp of history. Or, they are aware, but pretentious enough to continue to call themselves "Phoenician."
Weslie: "Hi Molly, where are you from?"
Molly: "I am Phoenician!"
Weslie: "Your people helped colonize the ancient Mediterranean! That's awesome!"
Molly: "No. I'm from Phoenix."
Weslie: "Oh."
Phoenician by James1006 September 11, 2010