Skip to main content

Optimistic Photography

The practice of using camera angles and strategic cropping to alter the subject of the photograph's perceived attractiveness. When used in conjunction with photo-manipulation, it can be a potent and effective means of convincing others that this individual is not fat and/or ugly.

Optimistic Photography is seen primarily in social media, most prevalently on dating sites. A person exploiting optimistic photography will use it to extract features which are unattractive, and shift attention to those which are more attractive.

When the compounding effect of alcohol is added, the mind of the drinker can confuse the earlier (first) impression of the subject with the cold, hard, unfortunate truths of reality and fact. The optimism lurks quietly in the mind of the victim.

For educational purposes only:

1) A downward camera angle can hide the volume (and thus, mass) of a person.
2) Taking a picture of oneself (close range) will also hide the shear size and volume of the subject.
3) Elongating the jaw or using unnatural facial expressions during a photograph can give the illusion of a thinner (and leaner) face. This can, in turn, alter the perception of a person's baseline attractiveness
4) A blurry picture, bright flash, or blown out contrast can also hide blemishes or wrinkles which may appear in reality.

Note: Publishing old pictures, while misleading, does not fall under this definition, but would still be considered trickery, of which optimistic photography is a form.
Oh my god, Holly looks about 100 lbs. (45 kg.) heavier than on her Myspace. Her optimistic photography almost sent me cow tipping!

I want to shake the hand of the optimistic photographer who ironed out her beat-ass face!

My blind date must have actually thought I was blind. She looks NOTHING like her optimistic profile picture!
Optimistic Photography mug front
Get the Optimistic Photography mug.
See more merch

Utility beer 

Utility beer is the beer you keep around for the day-to-day moments when beer is a necessity to assist in pedestrian activities (golf, plumbing, yardwork, babysitting, staff meetings, Zoom calls). For the beer snob it is the beer you save for neighbors when they drop in at 3 p.m. on a Tuesday. It is differentiated from the actual high-end beer you save for special events, holidays, and special tastings.
Person 1: Dave, did you bring along those hazy craft IPA's so we could drink while cleaning Lyle's pool?
Person 2: Nope. I just have a bunch of utility beer that Steve dumped on me. Good enough for this. It is only 10:30 a.m.
Utility beer by lakeshore February 1, 2022
Word of the Day on August 10, 2026
Police activity, especially of the non-productive type i.e. The act of setting up and patrolling speed traps, harassing or arresting people based on appearance (racial profiling), breaking up parties, any sort of cannabis bust, etc.
"Did you see all the cops on highway 6? They are oinking hard!"

"I hope Johnny doesn't get caught with his bag of weed, the pigs are oinking"
Oinking by DontDrinkSoda June 29, 2013
Word of the Day on August 9, 2026
A video or picture depicting an unrealistic scenario that is often seen as hopeful but in reality, is unrealistic or otherwise rare in real life.
"0/10 hopeslop"
Hopeslop by rawmilkconsumer69 July 13, 2026
Word of the Day on August 8, 2026

trespooping

The act of leaving poop in a toilet for the next person to see.
Someone needs to stop trespooping and flush that nasty thing down the toilet.
trespooping by TheRealInkweaver November 16, 2017
Word of the Day on August 7, 2026

scabbage 

A scabbed area that is particularly crackly, flaky, or tempting.
Don't pick your scabbage!

Her scabbage from that motorcycle accident is really gross!

Mom! The scabbage from the scrape on my leg is bleeding!
scabbage by JoCobs March 2, 2010
Word of the Day on August 6, 2026

hot dish 

Minnesota expression for a meal course meant to feed a family or a large group of people ofter brought to pot luck dinners. See caserole.
This tuna noodle hot dish is simply terrif.
hot dish by Clifford Hall July 15, 2008
Word of the Day on August 5, 2026