Oneupsman

Name: Oneupsman Mug
Brand: Urban Dictionary
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n. - One who thrives on besting anyone else's joy or shame, with anecdotal evidence (stories) of how their own experiences/possessions are better in any and all ways.

The oneupsman cannot be reasoned with, only trapped in a state up "oneupsmania."

Guy 1: Man, today was so cool, I saw a rainbow.

Guy 2: Yeah, that's nice. I saw a double rainbow.

Caution: Do not attempt to one-up the oneupsman, or a parastoltic chain reaction of oneupsmanship can occur.

Guy 1: Oh really, because I saw it on a beach this morning when I found a clam with a pearl inside.

Guy 2: Oh man, that's so cool, because I was out there yesterday, and found enough pearls to make a necklace, while not ending my sentences in prepositions.

At this point, the oneupsman will descend into "oneupsmania" if provoked any further. The only way to win is to walk away, or attempt to trap them in a logical fallacy.

Guy 1: So, why did you leave any pearls out there? It seems odd that you missed one.

Guy 2: Well, there were so many, I didn't want to take them all, that would be selfish.

Guy 1: True, true. I think the longest string of pearls i've ever seen was about a foot long.

Guy 2: I've seen one two feet long.

Guy 1: Great, so why didn't you want to make one even longer?

Guy 2: ......<Head A'splode>

Oneupsman by Wilson W March 16, 2011

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Oneupmanship

An obsession with the lives of others, combined with an extreme inferiority complex, resulting in a mental disorder that requires the sufferer (the Oneupman) to constantly feel the need to prove his or her self to anyone who will pay attention.

The boasts and claims of the Oneupman are actually a cry for help from an unconfident person who believes they are great simply for completing ordinary tasks faster than anyone else, possessing a higher number of certain items than anyone else, or for doing anything a higher number of times than anyone else. Sadly, the Oneupman is still stuck at the 'my dad is stronger than yours' stage of mental development.

The Oneupman never chooses a specialized activity to compete with, since they have very little special knowledge and simple 'accomplishments' appeal to them most, such as driving faster than you, eating more than you, and guessing how a movie ends before it ends. It should be noted that being the best is not the focus, the Oneupman is only interested in being better than YOU. They need others to compete with and prove themselves against, since they can't feel good unless someone feels bad.

Tellingly, the Oneupman will only compete with people they know, since competing with strangers whose skills they aren't familiar with may expose their weakness, which is the greatest fear of the Oneupman.

"Ok, in order to survive, we must both take one of these pills, and no more than one!"

"Oh yeah?? Well, I can take TWO, that's one more than you!"

"If you take two, you'll die, you idiot! This is not the time to practice Oneupmanship!"

"Oh, so you think I'm just average like you?? No way, I'm _______ (insert name here), I once _______ (insert exaggerated, unprovable claim here), I can handle two pills, ok?? Gimme those!!!"

Oneupman takes two pills and dies.

Oneupmanship by Grackle June 5, 2009

Oneupsmanship

noun. The act or quality of being better, i.e. to "one-up" another. Someone with highly honed oneupsmanship is able to easily, elegantly and constantly one-up those around him or her. Frequently viewed with hostility and suspicion by those with poor onesupsmanship. Can lead to arrogance and condescension if overused.

Person A: I just bought a new car! It has a V8, it's so fast!
Person B (exhibiting fine oneupsmanship): I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was just polishing my Enzo Ferrari and I didn't hear you.

Oneupsmanship by we@y April 6, 2009

urban oneupmanship

forwarding urban dictionary terms back and forth with a pal, each trying to outdo the other in sending the wittiest or raunchiest term.

I sent "girthquake" to Charlie but he sent back "butt weenie." I'm gonna send that pecker head "cum bread" and win this urban oneupmanship!

urban oneupmanship by LaLaLander17 March 2, 2009

oneupsetmanship

A specific variant of oneupmanship whereby two people compete over who upset whom the most. This process can spiral out of control when successive descriptions of why one party is upset causes the other party ever greater upset, thus passing the upset back and forth until upsetmageddon is achieved.

Jack and Jill started an argument which rapidly turned into oneupsetmanship

oneupsetmanship by Nigeywigey June 15, 2018

onepupmanship

It is what happens when two or more small dogs climb over each other on their owner's lap for affection and attention.

Our Chihuahuas play a game of onepupmanship whenever they want attention from a family member

onepupmanship by solitaireman65 November 9, 2025

Respectfully

Precedes or follows either a gratuitously disrespectful or honest remark, originated in New York City. Used in similar fashion to "no offense" or "to be honest," interchangeably.

Ya mans is wild buns, respectfully. Respectfully he's washed.

After school, The Modells on Jamaica Ave was active. Respectfully.

Respectfully by john quan the first December 20, 2020

Word of the Day on September 26, 2026

You met me at a very Chinese time in my life

A moment in time where you feel distinctly Chinese over all other things.

Dante: "I wish I could be Nigerian, but I can't because I'm Chinese. You met me at a very Chinese time in my life."

You met me at a very Chinese time in my life by Sus Chad September 21, 2026

Word of the Day on September 25, 2026

crunchy

Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

Modified derivative of granola.

"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppy metrosexual assholes."

"I'm heading out to the crunchy store to pick up some fair trade chocolate and tea tree oil, do you need anything?"

crunchy by EBC July 11, 2007

Word of the Day on September 24, 2026

Galantir

A group of people, typically women, searching through someone’s digital footprint in order to find more information about that person.

Susie wasn’t sure if her new Hinge match was a creep, so she assembled Galantir and they found out he used to post slurs on gaming forums.

Galantir by Ge-sus September 22, 2026

Word of the Day on September 23, 2026

murderhobo

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.

DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.

murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021

Word of the Day on September 22, 2026

Whale

In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.

"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."

Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020

Word of the Day on September 21, 2026