Mortanius

1. The oldest creature in the world, though not of this world. Mortanius was transformed into a single-cell organism and abandoned on the earth 44 billion years ago by his native race. Over the last 44 billion years, he has evolved into an ambiguous, malevolent being. He can take, but is not limited to, the following forms:

-man-sized roach
-mischevious fox present in Japanese mythology
-various trees
-crude robot
-various insects
-Egyptian jackal deity, though he is most skittish in this form, often denying that he takes it.
-sickly human
-jet-propelled swimming pool cleaner
-television (in this form, fond of saying 'fiddle with my knobs')

In addition, Mortanius suffers unknowingly from heroin addiction and ejaculates all bodily fluids nightly.

The being also has several additional characteristics, including the ability to stretch his neck, control all plant life except members of "the resistance," control insects and maintain animation despite death and decay.

He also enjoys limited control over a symbiote that has attached itself to his body, though he has never been able to coerce the symbiote to his most desired "penis fingers" form.

Often heard phrases:

What? I just woke up.

Always gotta crucify a mother fucker!

Let me slip up in on your sister.

Geez, you keep it chilly in here! I better put on my fir coat!

Why are you being such a bitch, Rose?

by green salad June 23, 2004

martavius

Humble, love to laugh and have fun. Has many talents mostly containing sports and music. Very smart and intelligent. Always smiling but when made mad has anger out of this world.

Martavius is a man of many adventures and talents

by Charles River December 21, 2016

Mortenism

When a Norwegian male by the name of Morten displays his acclimation to American culture by using words such as "wat?", rapping in a Norwegian accent, uses phrases such as "that's what your mom said", and flirts with American girls, even though he finds Norwegian women superior.

Ms. Perfect: I think that's hot.

Morten: That's what your mom said (heavy on the Norwegian accent, throwing a paper airplane at me)

Ms. Perfect: Stop with your Mortenisms.

by toripanda77 June 2, 2009

Montarius

Montarius is the most self confident person in the world he can take yo bitch and you won't do nannnthing about it (Future voice )

Montarius took yo bitch

by Nfnc June 18, 2018

Morganism

In keeping with the typically hilarious, and witty comments of racing driver P. Morgan.

Hey John, did you hear that new Morganism? "These tires grip longer than a possessive ex girlfriend"

by mp3s April 24, 2013

Morganism

The worshiping of Morgan Freeman as God. One must respect Morgan and worship him. One must also follow the guidelines of the Book of Morgan (Holy Book).

I am a believer of Morganism

by MrHypothetical July 4, 2012

Rick Moranis

The sexual act of adorning a homemade tactical helmet/magnifying glass and suspending yourself with a harness, above a splaying woman sitting in a kiddie pool filled with milk and Cheerios, in order to perform cunnilingus on her.

I totally Rick Moranis'd this girl yesterday. It was awesome.

by CHOPPER_DAVE September 26, 2009