Molko Unit 

A molko unit (mU) is a unit of time first used by some magnet students on a visit to MIT, but has since then swept the east coast of the US. Most importantly, the amount of time that a single molko unit occupies is subject to change, which is what makes this unit of time both versatile and extremely annoying.

Problems can sometimes arise with molko units, as anyone can simply assign an arbitrary length of time to a molko. Therefore, statements regarding time made by molko users will sometimes lead users of the inferior second/minute/hour method astray.

To simplify things and cut down on confusion, experienced molko users tend to gravitate towards one certain length of time for the molko unit, called the Common molko. The exact value of the Common molko (Cm) is unknown; however, it is said to be somewhere around 4.27 seconds.

The origin of the molko unit's name is uncertain, but the widely accepted belief is that it was named for some second-rate anime/manga character by one of his fangirls. There are also some rumors of other related units of time, such as the decamolko, which is always larger than the standard molko, and the millimolko, which is always smaller. These are merely rumors, however.

Fred: Hey, you got the time?
Amy: Yeah, it's 10 to 2.
--Later--
Fred: Can I get the time again?
Amy: Umm... Oh, 10 to 2.
Fred: What?! How?!
Amy: Molko units are flexible and capable of frequent change. In my book, it's always 10 to 2.
Fred: ... Whatever, you need some help.

Molko Unit by The_Awkward_Swan May 16, 2009