Metabolaskiss 

A legendary animal that ninjas get their power from. They battle the Metabolaskiss and if they acquire the toe fungus of one, they can snort it and become ninjas.

Metabolaski resemble oranges with two eyes and a mouth when they are young but soon develop the characteristic squidward-nose and three "arms" and three very large feet.
At adolescence, they develop the antennae on the top of their head that doubles as a method of metabolaskiss communication and a mating ritual and organ.


Humans cannot see Metabolaski, and they choose whom they believe are worthy of battle. Once a battle is engaged, the human feels as if they are trapped in a bubble, and cannot see anything that was previously around them. The Metabolaskiss supplies their opponent with ONE weapon of their choice and its to the death from there, or to the fungus?

They reproduce asexually and have been known to mate with humans...this is not a very pleasent sight and only one known case of a human-metabolaskiss developing to full maturity has ever been recorded and the end result was the most hardcore Algebra 2 teacher ever.


Note: Some claim that metabolaski only appear when their opponents are smoking fruit from a hookah, but this has not yet been proved.

Also note: Metabolaski hate humans, no human has ever lived for more than a day within a three kilometer radius of a metabolaskiss.

Also note again: Schnappi, a popular kids cartoon in Germany, is currently leading the human force in the epic battle of humans vs metabolaski

1. OH MY GOD I SAW A METABOLASKISS!

2. A metabolaskiss killed my brother so i couldnt do my homework.

3. -So what are you gonna be for halloween?
-A metabolaskiss slayer

Metabolaskiss by Blind Prophet January 29, 2009