Meateatiation 

The process of solving a conflict, or a number of conflicts between two or more parties through eating copious amounts of meat in front of the conflicting parties until an amicable agreement is reached.

1. "Me and my husbands marriage was on the rocks, until we had a few sessions of Meateatiation.......now the only problem I have to worry about is taking a stool at regular intervals."

2. "Do we really need to get the lawyers involved, can't we just settle this through the civilised means of Meateatiation?"

3. "Can't this dispute be resolved through mediation?"

"I'm afraid not Ma'am, this is far too serious, I think the only way we are going to settle this is through five two hour sessions of Meateatiation.

4. "If you two cunts can't get your fucken shit together and resolve this conflict, I'm going to be forced to eat copious amounts of meat to solve this."

"What?!?!....surely we don't need to get a Meateatiator involved?"

Meateatiation by Soul of Distortion April 17, 2013

meatatation 

Meatatation (noun): The act of meditating about eating delicious, savory meat.

Instructions:*
Close your eyes and imagine sitting in your favorite chair, a plate of smoking hot bacon** sitting close by. You bring it toward your mouth but pause, enjoying the sweet scent of apple-wood bacon** wafting by your nose as you prepare for the wonderful sensation that is about to take place. You take a bite and chew slowly, enjoying the savory deliciousness that is bacon**

Once you have finished your first block of Meatatation, imagine eating a second piece of bacon or enjoying another tender and savory option from the many delicious meats spread out on your imaginary table.

Repeat with your favorite meats for as long as desired, or until the urge to prepare and/or eat said meat in reality becomes overwhelming.

*Modify however you want. Meatatators make tough decisions (but enjoy tender meat).

** Numerous scientific studies strongly suggest that bacon is the most effective stimulus for eliciting the incredible sensations associated with Meatatation. The issue is far from resolved, however, as animal models of meat enjoyment suggest that individual differences in meat preference may modulate the impact of Meatatation on bodily sensations.

I tried meatatation for the first time last night but then I ate a plate full of bacon and steaks so I may need to wait until this afternoon to try again.

meatatation by Eye rock May 16, 2016