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A lanky piece of shit who has no sense of humour, he has no idea how to spell anything. He thinks he is good at football when realistically he is not because he can't decide whether to pick up a ball or kick it away so he let it go in the goal and he lost his team the game. He doesn't know how to make his sandwiches but he tells everyone he made them him-self so he looks like a big man. Basically, if we come to a conclusion about Matthew Brand, and if you know him, then we feel really really really sorry for you and we take pity on you. His parents don't love him and they bought him a grandpa watch, he tried being cool by smoking when he didn't even inhale anything so we took the piss out of him. He thinks he knows everything about the economy but he has no idea about the economy.
Geoff Smith: "Come on, let's go out!"
Brad Jones: "No! Matthew Brand is gonna be there, he is wasteman!"
Geoff Smith: "Oh yeah! Shit! I forgot, he is a complete battyboy and wasteman. Bun going near that rastaclaart"
Brad Jones: "Told ya bruv! Who wants to go near him?! He always tries to act like a big man, manz hate manz like that G!"
Geoff Smith: "Yeah alright then safe. Let's go shisha in London, that wasteman aint gonna be there :D"
Brad Jones: "Yeah yeah safe"
by Yakub Wasim July 19, 2011
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