Matternoon 

In a matter of one afternoon you go from being someones soulmate to being completely ghosted.

"Whats wrong?"
"I'm confused, boss"
"oookkkk....want to explain?"
"It was a matter of moments between Tony telling me that we were soul mates in the morning and then ghosting me in the afternoon and pretending I don't exist anymore."
"Ergh... Matternoons really hurt."
"You're telling me..." {insert 'obviously' GIF here}

Matternoon by pinacoladaescape June 17, 2020

Lorenzo Von Matterhorn 

Lorenzo Von Matterhorn was born in Switzerland in the spring of 1974. He was placed in a basket and tossed into a river immediately following his birth. After traveling downstream for miles, he was found by a young Milanese woman who raised him, naming his Lorenzo after her father, and Von Matterhorn to reflect his Swiss heritage.

Lorenzo was diagnosed with a condition called phallumegally (bigness of penis) at a young age. He grew up unable to ride a bike or feel comfortable in a locker room or a regular pair of shorts. He has applied for penis reduction surgery many times, but the doctors have said that, sadly, that is not an option.

He is the founder of Von Matterhorn Industries International Unlimited Global Inc., or VMIIUGI, and was once named billionaire of the week by Big Business Journal.

See The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn.

By pretending to be Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, Barney managed to convince a woman to sleep with him.

Lorenzo Von Matterhorn by lilypotter56 July 25, 2012

The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn 

To perform the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, here's what you'll need: basic knowledge of website design and a very unique fake name. So, think of your fake name right now. Have you got it? Good.
Now, select your target, preferably a girl with a real nice phone.
The dialogue that follows should go something like this.
You: "Yeah. It's me."
Girl: "Do I know you?"
You: "I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn."
Girl: "Are you, like, famous, or something?"
You: "Yes... You really don't know who I am, do you? What a refreshing change of pace. Nice to meet you..."
Girl: "Shelley."
You: "Shelley. Once again, I'm Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. Spelled like it sounds: two t's. Lorenzo. Von Matterhorn. Ciao."
Then, as soon as you're gone, she gets out her phone and does an internet search for Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. And that's when she discovers a series of fake websites, all devoted to the incredible life of Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. There's a fake business article about Lorenzo, the reclusive billionaire. The fake explorers club newsletter describing his balloon trip to the North Pole as a feat of pure daring and imagination. The fake medical journal featuring a heart-breaking story of doctors telling him penis reduction surgery isn't an option. And by the time you get back...
You: "Hi. Shelley, uh, I hate to be forward, but can I buy you a cup of coffee?"
Girl: "Yes! Please."
You: "What does coffee go for these days? Fifty dollars?"
Girl: "Oh, Lorenzo."
And it is on.

Did you see that? Barney totally just pulled off The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. He's bringing the girl up to his room right now!

The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn by lilypotter56 April 19, 2011

Lorenzo Von Matterhorn 

A play to run on girls to get the business.

1st: Have an ability in website design and think of a unique fake name. Have you got yours? Good!
Now when you get to the bar look for a girl with a really nice phone. Approach her with confidence and repeat your fake name often. Now when you leave she will go on her phone and do an internet search of you, where she'll see......

a series of fake websites talking about your many feats in being a billionaire, global balloon trekker, and being told by doctors that penis reduction surgery isn't an option.

give her some time then approach her again and ask if she would like to have coffee.

The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn works!

Lorenzo Von Matterhorn by lesbihonestttt June 9, 2013

Matterhorn 

Sexual act in which male rides female down a flight of stairs while holding onto her hair.

Guy 1: "Hey Jimmy, do you remember when you Matterhorned that girl last year?"

Guy 2: "Yeah, it was totes awesome. She was hard to steer. Wish she took the curves better."

Matterhorn by TWSS12345 May 22, 2010

Manfernoon 

An afternoon spent enjoying traditionally heterosexual male activities.

"Hey Jimmy, did you enjoy that kickass manfernoon yesterday"

"Yeah, totally dude, we just fuckin watched the game, cashed a few brews and JD, tossed the football around, smoked some stogs, then grilled out... it was great. while the lady did her own shit with her friends"

Manfernoon by Mr. Recard April 13, 2009

mafternoon

a greeting for the time of day between morning and afternoon

Peter: Mafternoon Michael.

Michael: Mafternoon to you too, Peter.

mafternoon by anonymous - stl November 26, 2007