Man Cactus 

Used to describe the condition of male genitals created by prickly regrowth of shaved pubic hair. Does not occur if one has a manzilian as the regrowth is much softer

Diner: "Stop scratching your crotch at the table you disgusting creature!"
Waiter: "Im terribly sorry sir, but I haven't shaved my crotch and nutsack in four days and have developed a horry case of man cactus."
Diner: "Perhaps you should consider a manzilian".

Ho: Go and shave your junk, you ain't putting that nasty man cactus near my delicate ladybits.

Man Cactus by Steamtronic January 30, 2014

cactus man 

Cactus Man

Putting thing politely, Cactus Man is a total dickhead, indeed a marked man by all accounts and whose name invariably if not inevitably is called Mark (sorry Mark! we know you are a nice guy really, this is the "other Mark").

Both arrogant and aloof with a sense of utter pompousness that all around are beneath him: after all "nobody is as good as cactus man" and sadly this is what makes him a total prick. This man does not know the meaning of common courtesy and the words "please" and "thank you" are non-existent in his vocabularly.

Cactus man is more than happy to take ALL of the credit, and all of the glory where he can (if he considers you "worthy" enough) but will rarely if ever give you any credit or recognition for your hard work (unless you are unfortunate to make a mistake!). Cactus man is a teflon manager with a neck of brass, and shoulders of teflon, nothing sticks to him - he is a complete and utter pillicock if ever.

Cactus man's gaze is forever upwards staring the ass of those higher up the corporate ladder, and he cares not what muck/filth he drops on those below. Indeed apt to dropping you in it a short notice. Generally having few real friends (if any), few people like him and many despise him.

Most definitely not a team player and best to avoid where you can.

Look out, Cactus Man just walked into the room.

cactus man by Fadoodles October 26, 2018