Long Reach High School

Long Reach, oh where does one begin? I suppose the beginning would work. Alright so LRHS is a high school in Howard County a.k.a. HoCo. The school was built in 1997 to alleviate over congestion at the local shit hole (Howard High School). The principle is Mr. Burton who's trademark is calling us "Long Reach family" which no one likes because if you're dating someone at the school that's gross incest. Either way, Long Reach High School's claim(s) to fame are probably that hanging behind the school (a non student) and the infamous French Fry Fight. Both events stood to tarnish the otherwise stellar reputation of Long Reach Which brings us to the next issue. Long Reach and fights are not synonymous. There are not that many fights at the school, well no more than at any other school. Long Reach isn't ghetto and only the kids at River Hill High School, who stay high as jet planes, say that it is. Long Reach has a running rivalry with pretty much every other school in Howard County mainly because the other high schools talk down about Long Reach and sully the schools good name. Long Reach was featured in a scene from the movie "Borat" and also sends numerous kids to ivy league schools each year. Bottomline, Long Reach is a pretty good school ranked as one of the best schools in the country, which begs the question: if Long Reach is so bad then what's the worst school in the nation like? Maybe a hole in the wall...or a trash can.

Kid one: What school do you go to?
Kid two: Long Reach High School
Kid one: Oh that's schools ghetto, there been anymore fights since the French fry fight?
Kid two: Well where do you go?
Kid one: River Hill.
kid two: Been any drug busts since the one from last week?
Kid one: Touché.

by Cessna March 28, 2012