Lifestyle Maintenance Strategist

Refers to people who are in well-paid, cosy, cushy jobs - who don't actually do any real work but are exceptionally talented at justifying their own worthless jobs, wasting money and making sure that whatever happens their own job stays justified and safe so that they can maintain their own cushy lifestyles. Good at feathering their own nests and shitting in other people's.

Lifestyle maintenance strategists are usually 'precious' but deluded people who highly rate their own value or worth. They'd be laughed off a building or construction site.

Most often represented by non technical managers and executives found in British public sector departments where jobs are not 'proper jobs'; for example Public Health manager or consultant.

Work actvities include Google time; blue sky thinking; journal club; wasting large amounts of tax payers money, running sexual health campaigns that cost £50,000 with an outcome of 19 Chlamydia tests; meetings with lots of nice tea and biscuits about work programmes that last 18 months at which a poster is finally triumphantly produced which could have taken a college student their lunch hour to come up with; the finance available to buy lifestyle designer gadgets and possesions so that they can feel smug and superior - for example owning an electric car or designer boiler; making sure that meetings finish by 4pm so the they can get away to the gym, running club, or fictious Tarquin Tombola's dinner party to which only other lifestyle maintenance strategists are invited. Colluding together (often at Tarquin Tombola's dinner parties or covens) to get rid of employees who are good at their jobs and who might expose them for the lying, worthless sociopaths that they are.

Lifestyle Maintenance Strategist by Sauron's contact lens June 22, 2012