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i was just dropping the kids off at the pool

been for a poo
where were you?

i was just dropping the kids off at the pool!!!

I used to be an adventurer just like you, then I took an arrow to the knee 

The most overly used phrase in gaming history. From the game Skyrim.
Guard: I used to be an adventurer just like you, then I took an arrow to the knee.

Player: LOL

The kind of girl who just takes a shit 

An extremely ugly, disgusting girl who has nothing going for her, who thinks shes hot shit.
Nick: Dude I hate stephanie
Jeremy: Yea man, shes the kind of girl who just takes a shit

The kind of girl who just takes a shit 

An extremely ugly, disgusting girl who has nothing going for her, who thinks shes hot shit.
Nick: Dude I hate stephanie
Jeremy: Yea man, shes the kind of girl who just takes a shit

just kiss the tip 

aka jktt; when a person kisses the tip of a penis, normally a girl
when a girl doesn't want to give you a blow-job but you convince her to just kiss the tip of your penis. Knowing once she does she'll want to finish the job since no girl just kisses the tip.

Just gotta give the dog a kong

Euphemism for quickly bopping the bacon prior to a mutually agreed upon event or outing.
I'll meet you at the bar shortly, I just gotta give the dog a kong.