A generic student (usually male) who believes they are an intellectual powerhouse, polymath, and respected playboy—despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. A Johnny Kochut tends to confidently rank the sciences based on a personal hierarchy that places math and physics at the top, chemistry as “the easiest science,” biology as “kind of fake,” and psychology as “not a real science.” Ironically, they often major in psychology, while claiming a background in “physical chemistry”.
Originally coined on university campuses, ‘Johnny Kochut’ combines the classic everyman name ‘Johnny’ with a slang twist on the phrase ‘catch it’—referring to someone who catches onto things just a little too late.
Common signs of a Johnny Kochut include: claiming they’re med school material without having taken biology or chemistry, referring to psychiatrists as “pill doctors,” and memorizing test banks to inflate their GPA while denying it. They boast about understanding electrochemistry after hearing about calcium ions, and insist that “biochemistry is for simpletons” after learning what a benzene ring is. Generally, they often work at places like The Beer Store or as a chicken cook at Walmart, yet openly critique scientists, professors, and medical professionals. Frequently spotted checking their reflection in a laptop before staring blankly at women in class, they rewrite both scientific history and their own—often in real time.
Originally coined on university campuses, ‘Johnny Kochut’ combines the classic everyman name ‘Johnny’ with a slang twist on the phrase ‘catch it’—referring to someone who catches onto things just a little too late.
Common signs of a Johnny Kochut include: claiming they’re med school material without having taken biology or chemistry, referring to psychiatrists as “pill doctors,” and memorizing test banks to inflate their GPA while denying it. They boast about understanding electrochemistry after hearing about calcium ions, and insist that “biochemistry is for simpletons” after learning what a benzene ring is. Generally, they often work at places like The Beer Store or as a chicken cook at Walmart, yet openly critique scientists, professors, and medical professionals. Frequently spotted checking their reflection in a laptop before staring blankly at women in class, they rewrite both scientific history and their own—often in real time.
“He said he got an 80 on the biopsych test, but the prof literally showed the mark distribution to the entire class, and nobody scored between 76 and 90. Then he zoomed in on a random 81.8 on Blackboard and said he got curved down—because ‘that’s how curves work.’ Total Johnny Kochut.”
“Last week he said he’s been seeing a girl for two months. This week he told someone else he hasn’t been on a date in three years. When asked which one’s true, he said he ‘doesn’t remember.’ Classic Johnny Kochut memory fog.”
“Last week he said he’s been seeing a girl for two months. This week he told someone else he hasn’t been on a date in three years. When asked which one’s true, he said he ‘doesn’t remember.’ Classic Johnny Kochut memory fog.”
by urabanodictionaro July 31, 2025