Horse-an-itis 

A 100% real disease/infection given off by riding horses (male). Once infected the carrier can pass it on to other individuals via touching, talking, or being around them for extended periods of time (it has been found that over-texting them via Cell Phones can have an increased chance of catching Horse-an-itis).

The known symptoms of the fatal disease are as follows (but not limited to): Enlargement of the Clitoris by up to 6 fold, an increased aging rate of upwards to 2.5x regular aging, and being unable to pass to the after-life and being forced to be a homosexual-ghost. Said ghosts can only contact the living homosexuals.

Tom: So, What happened to Rick?
Grant: Not really sure, I heard he caught Horse-an-itis Disease.
Tom: Really?

Grant: Yeah, he some Ghost told me in my sleep.
Tom: I see.

Horse-an-itis by Dr. Ralf March 13, 2010