A perfect girl is the same as a regular girl but with equal parts sweet and dry vermouth (a martini typically uses dry vermouth and a Manhattan typically uses the sweet but the perfect Manhattan or perfect martini uses both).
Girl: I’m here. I got the vermouth but I didn’t know if you were making martinis or Manhattans so I picked up a bottle of each.
Boyfriend: Wellaren’t you the perfect girl.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.