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Fucking Illinois Bastard
1. One who drives in the fast lane, and chooses to do the speed limit
2. Someone who cuts through 2 lanes of traffic without signalling to exit Interstate
3. Chooses to vacation in Wisconsin, where there actually are hills, and a good football team
1. Hmmm, people keep passing me, I better put a stop to that and congest this whole damn stretch of pavement
2. My exit is coming up, I had better get over...hmmm, he forgot 4 fingers when he waved at me, oh well...Well I'll be, this wasn't even my exit, dirp
3. Lets head north to Wisconsin, they have hills, and small cities, that are way more laid back than us here in Chicago...I also heard they know how to play football, and make this thing called the playoffs
by Womack March 08, 2005
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9
Fucking Illinois Bastard or Fucking Illinois Bitch. Used by residents of Wisconsin (and sometimes Michigan) to describe people from Illinois.

FIB's tend to have one or more of the following characteristics:

-Drive slow enough to get passed by grandmothers (even though they go 25 over the limit in their own state).

-If they own a sports car, they drive it like an SUV. If they own an SUV, they drive it like a sports car.

-Lives in an overpriced condo on Chicago's lakefront or an overpriced house in the 'burbs (yet still tell's everyone they're from Chicago).

-Buys a vacation home in Lake Geneva, Door County or Upper Michigan and immediately complains about the lack of urban culture in the area. Yet they can't seem to stop vacationing there.

-FIB men usually claim to be "tough chicago guys" yet are too scared to go anywhere but Miller Park, Water Street or Third Ward when visiting Milwaukee for a Brewers-Cubs game.

-FIB men are usually at least 50 lbs. overweight, yet find room to complain about the supposed lack of size 0 women in Wisconsin and Michigan.

-FIB women are usually either 50 lbs. overweight and insist on wearing halter tops and mini-skirts, or have A-cups and wear tops intended for women with an actual chest.

-Claims to be cultured even though 90% of their wardrobe consists of Cubs and Bears sweatshirts and don't know of any restaurants that aren't bar & grill's.

-Think being an "outdoorsman" means sleeping in a $50,000 RV.

-Thinks Wisconsin wouldn't be able to sustain its economy without them, but don't recognize that they're gullible idiots who buy vacation property in parts of the state that Wisconsin natives don't even want.

-Buys a dried up piece of shit because a Wisconsin merchant told them it was used in Native American puberty rituals.
"If FIB's consider going to Lake Geneva a vacation, then Chicago must REALLY suck!"
by illwauk October 07, 2007
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10
Fuckin' Illinois Bastard.

Used by people in Wisconsin to refer to people from Illinois who buy all of the lake properties in northern Wisconsin and who don't know how to drive while going there.
Wisconsinite 1: Look at all the FIBS here today...
Wisconsinite 2: Well, it's Memorial Day weekend, what else can you expect?
by SkaraMog May 07, 2006
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11
A fib is a lie. Fibs are usually small lies that one tells to impress their friends and co-workers. Fibs usually involve elaborate stories about how the fibber hooked up with some hot girl, beat up some guy, or were someplace that they really were not. Fibbers are usually repeat offenders, and tell fibs often to anyone who will listen. It is best to avoid fibbers and their fib stories. They can chew your ear off for hours, telling fib, after fib, after fib.
Those Romano's are such fibbers!" "Stop Fibbing!" "What a fib artist!"
by Fib_Artist July 17, 2011
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13
noun: a way to refer to Illinoisans that would offend your grandma if you spelled it out for her. The grandma version of FIB is flat lander.
little timmy: Holy shit, Grandma!! Look at all the God-damned FIBS on the highway today!!
Grandma: timmy!! Where'd you learn to talk like that? Never refer to them as FIBs; it's offensive. Call those bastards "flatlanders."
by earpuller September 21, 2005
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14
An acronym for people from the Chicago metro as mentioned in the above definitions, especially when visiting Wisconsin, that properly describes the attitude and character of those people.
If Chicago started with an "I", the rest of Illinios would have the same acronym for people from Chicago. The rest of Illinois views Chicagoans as a plague of locusts on good, honest, hard-working people from outside of the Chicago metro, who suck up all of their resources, right down to their souls, and then cop a FIB attitude towards them when they complain about it.
For an example of the attitude of a FIB, which is the main reason for the nickname, just read what the FIB wrote in definition number 10. This moron has the typical attitude of a FIB, that they are superior human beings to all others in the world, their percieved value of wealth makes them better human beings, and the rest of the world should be saying "thank you" and wiping their asses for gracing it with their presence and money. This guy is worst kind of FIB, and can keep his money in Chicago if that is going to be his attitude.
by 2-Dogg July 14, 2006
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