Epic Toilet Story

Story of anything epic that happens while sitting on the shitter.

Guy 1 "I had just been prescribed Norvir, a powerful antiviral drug. Having only taken azidothymidine prior, I made the mistake of taking Norvir and then going to the video store. As I stood in line, I felt a tummy rumble, the likes of which had never been felt in this particular colon ever before. Within moments, the urge became too much to resist, so I dashed to the bathroom at the bar next door, since the video store had no john. At the bar, my anus gushed forth a river of noxious shit the likes of which I had never encountered before. Smelling of paint, and with sticking power to match, the bowl filled up with a volume of shit I never dreamed any colon could hold. After the disaster, i went to wipe, and found a long string of mucous dangling from my ass, presumably the former mucosal lining of my colon. I tried to avoid getting it on my hand but so stringy was the mucous, it was unavoidable. After washing my hands, ass, and the toilet seat, I left the bar, and tipped the bartender $5. To this day, I feel badly that I didnt tip $10."
Guy 2 "Thats one epic toilet story bro"

Epic Toilet Story by derkaderkastan101 December 30, 2010

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Stinky Bobby

When you find a little guy who is stinky. Usually needs a belly rub.

Hey, that’s Stinky Bobby.

Stinky Bobby by anorlondo June 17, 2026

Word of the Day on July 29, 2026

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chud run

A trip to a grocery store, convenience store, or gas station for the sole purpose of buying an excessive amount of junk food and sugary drinks, usually with friends. A chud run often happens late at night and ends with everyone involved hating themselves afterwards.

"Hey bro you tryna go on a chud run with me??"

chud run by chad brandson July 24, 2026

Word of the Day on July 28, 2026

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flophouse

Any house/apartment/frat house/trailer/etc. which is used for individuals to crash (sleep, chill, hang out, lurk, etc.) for a period of time. In order to "crash", one must not actually live there (e.g. have their name on the lease, own said flophouse, etc.). Flophouses are typically used by college students, drug addicts, transients, vagrants, or other unsavory characters.

A flophouse may also be the home owned by the parents of a college student, who after being away at college, wishes to live as if he/she is still at college (e.g. staying out all night, returning just to crash at mom and dad's house, then leaving again), rather than conforming to the pre-college rules.

Example #1
Dude: (Talking to someone passed out face first on the floor of his college apartment) Hey man, who the hell are you? What do you think this is, a flophouse??

Bro: Sorry dude, I must have passed out for a minute.

Example #2
Mom: Where have you BEEN for the last three days? You come home just to sleep?? What do you think this is, a flophouse??!!

Son: What's your problem? I'm an adult now!

flophouse by J3553 November 21, 2007

Word of the Day on July 27, 2026

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Hate Sink

A person you hate intensely not because they deserve such hatred but because they serve as a focus for your general hatred. A healthy way to dispense with excess animosity.

Jake's not really that big an asshole. He just serves as my hate sink.

Hate Sink by The great prophet Zarquon August 7, 2016

Word of the Day on July 26, 2026

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funiosity

The art of being peculiar, but in an amusing fashion.

"Wow, look at that dog running on three legs"
- "Yeah, that sure is a funiosity"

funiosity by Supersonic Stevie November 23, 2007

Word of the Day on July 25, 2026

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Toe Rag

A toe rag was originally a foot wrapping used, since mediaeval times up until the mid-nineteenth century, to protect the foot from chafing by boots or shoes. As these were, quite literally, rags they weren’t usually washed, and so with use they became very smelly until they were thrown away. Because of the similarity in smell, toe rag also became the name applied to dried, salted cod or other things with a strong, unpleasant, fishy smell. It didn’t take that long before the name was applied to someone who was an obnoxious, unpleasant OIC.

1 “Socks! Those aren’t socks you smelly git, they’re toe rags!”
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.

Toe Rag by AKACroatalin November 29, 2016

Word of the Day on July 24, 2026

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