Donk Train
n. A vehicular unit that is full of, or designed to haul, swamp donkeys (see also: sea donkey). Due to the sheer mass of a swamp donkey a vehicle with a chassis not engineered to support such an enormous load may be visibly evident by one or both bumpers dragging near the ground or, if an odd number of swamp donkeys are occupying the vehicle, a severe listing to one side.
Note: It is advisable to avoid Donk Trains on the road. Not only could their sloth-like appearance cause uncontrolled vomiting or seizures, but could possibly be a road hazzard.
The National Traffic Safety Board (NTSB) reported 5 deaths and over a dozen injuries caused by Donk Trains in the United States in 2005. The NTSB reports that non-commercial grade tires are prone to exploding from the enormous lateral force exerted by multiple swamp donkeys occupying a typical passenger car. This accounts for the bulk of the reported accidents.
In March of 2006 in upstate New York a family of 4 was killed in a Donk Train wreck. Both the NTSB and NHTSA concluded the accident was caused by un unevenly loaded Donk Train. The Donk Train's frame, while heavily listing to one side, twisted while going around a sweeping corner, then snapped in half and crossed eight lanes of heavy traffic. The front half of the Donk Train, with its two swamp donkey passengers securely wedged between the seat and the dash, rolled seven times, struck and crushed the Volvo sedan (arguably one of the safest cars in production), and instantly killed all passengers on impact.
Note: It is advisable to avoid Donk Trains on the road. Not only could their sloth-like appearance cause uncontrolled vomiting or seizures, but could possibly be a road hazzard.
The National Traffic Safety Board (NTSB) reported 5 deaths and over a dozen injuries caused by Donk Trains in the United States in 2005. The NTSB reports that non-commercial grade tires are prone to exploding from the enormous lateral force exerted by multiple swamp donkeys occupying a typical passenger car. This accounts for the bulk of the reported accidents.
In March of 2006 in upstate New York a family of 4 was killed in a Donk Train wreck. Both the NTSB and NHTSA concluded the accident was caused by un unevenly loaded Donk Train. The Donk Train's frame, while heavily listing to one side, twisted while going around a sweeping corner, then snapped in half and crossed eight lanes of heavy traffic. The front half of the Donk Train, with its two swamp donkey passengers securely wedged between the seat and the dash, rolled seven times, struck and crushed the Volvo sedan (arguably one of the safest cars in production), and instantly killed all passengers on impact.
Passenger: Look at that little car leaning on its side!
Driver: Oh shit it's a Donk Train!
Passenger: Does it have flat tires?
Driver: No those swamp donkeys are so heavy that the sidewalls are just collapsing from the stress. We better keep some distance if we want to live.
Driver: Oh shit it's a Donk Train!
Passenger: Does it have flat tires?
Driver: No those swamp donkeys are so heavy that the sidewalls are just collapsing from the stress. We better keep some distance if we want to live.
Donk Train by Paul Dawson November 26, 2006
