Cucumberitus 

The 'cucumber' disease often occurs after eating a meal containing cucumbers i.e tuna and cucumber sandwich
After which your penis may become aroused and turn green and small green/yellow leafs begin to sprout from the pubic area.
This disease is very common in teens, elderly women and vegetarians.

Waiter:'Heres your tuna and cucumber sandwich you ordered sir',

Victim: 'oooh, ... ahhh,... ouch whats up with my one eyed trouser trout??????'

Waiter:' I dont kno sir have u eaten any cucumber?'

Victim: yesssss cock face

Waiter:' Oh yeh that cucumberitus where your pork sword turns green and sprouts leaves'

Victim: 'Oh cool :S'

Cucumberitus by fishingtackle76 August 7, 2009

Cucumberous 

Adjective to be used in place of/in conjunction with the phrase "cool as a cucumber"

"That chap over there, see how he's relaxing, he looks so cucumberous"

Cucumberous by TheMuffinedWordsmith August 1, 2022