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Crunchy Mom

A member of an increasingly growing group of moms who are neo-hippies.

They generally believe (for varying reasons) that there is something bad or less beneficial about buying mainstream products or doing other common activities in the mainstream way.

You might be a crunchy mom if you:

...bake all your own bread
...make your own jam, jelly, pickles, applesauce, etc.
...gave birth at home -- by CHOICE! (With a midwife, doula, or unassisted!)
...prefer to teach your children yourself at home instead of letting the public or private schools do it for you.
...grow your own food as much as possible, and buy the rest at farmer's markets or health food stores.
...are vegan or vegetarian.
...choose not to use birth control.
...don't wear a bra or shoes.
...don't use shampoo or soap, but instead maybe sea salt or a variety of other things.
...had your placenta chopped up for an anti-depressant pill or smoothie.
...have no television in your home -- and actually read BOOKS for entertainment!
...grind your own grain to make your own bread with (did you know that wheat looses about 90% of it's nutrients within 7 days of being ground?)
...don't cut your hair or wear pants (not going around half-naked, but wearing skirts! Silly people! Get your mind out of the gutter!)
...can add 10 more things to this list that I didn't even think of!

If it were a spectrum, on the extreme far end you would find Amish.
Mom 1: So after that HORRIBLE experience with the hospital with my first baby, I had my second one at home completely unassisted.

Mom 2: Wow! You're an even crunchier mom than I am! I thought I was pretty crunchy after giving birth at home with a midwife and doula. How many kids do you want to have? And do you plan to homeschool too?

Mom 1: I want to have as many as God blesses me with! We've never used birth control as long as we've been married! And yes! We start homeschooling Darling Daughter number one this Fall!

Mom 2: It's nice to know I'm not the only crazy crunchy mom!
Crunchy Mom by Nadiyasmama August 22, 2011
Words you can keep

Crunchy Mom

Crunchy mom is the new term for a modern day Karen. Crunchy moms let their kids eat rocks and dirt and ignore any form of science. They use the term crunchy as a way to justify shaming other mothers who don’t do things that they like such as formula feeding or caring about safe sleep.
Did you hear about Alice? She’s “ crunchy “she said I can let my kid eat rocks because it’s good for him!! She definitely didn’t get a medical degree from google.

Crunchy mom: a mom who is a bitch
Crunchy Mom by omgsocrunchy November 2, 2021

Crunchy Mom

The term crunchy mom is typically used to describe a mother or female caregiver who typically follows a natural lifestyle and incorporates it into their parenting. A crunchy mom attempts to avoid modern medicine, limits reliance on technology, and eats only organic foods.
I hate my "Crunchy Mom" she is so strict and I am not allowed to do any thing!
Crunchy Mom by Ohionator April 10, 2024

crunchy almond mom 

A mom who believes that vaccines cause autism, essential oils will heal every ailment and who only feed their children "organic" food.
"She bought an entire case of organic water, what a crunchy almond mom"
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High School Liquid 

A person who can freely travel between and fit in with all high school social groups and classes.
He is high school liquid, he ate lunch with the nerds and hung out with the jocks after school.
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I hit a real purple patch.

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Purple Patch by Ralph Shitstorm October 27, 2020
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(Ewokese) Freedom!
And dying in yo' bed many years from now, would ya be willing ta trade all da days from dis here day ta dat fo' one chance, just one chance, ta come back here as young men an' tell our enemies dat dey may take our lives but dey will never take our freedom ... YUB NUB!
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