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Men have naught to fear, but women.... gird your uterus. Made of dark purple misty smoke, a criniti is vicious in his attacks. The high pitch of a women's voice is his signal that his prey is near. As a closet vaper he can cloak himself in his own smoke. His battle cries include the following, " make me a sandwich" or " go get pregnant. " He stashes all his unfortunate victims in a hidden mopar he keeps out in the boonies. A criniti is not to be taken lightly, all females be advised keep a spare sandwich near to throw in the opposite direction in case a criniti comes after YOU.
I kept my sandwich beside just like you said mom, and when he appeared yelling, "the house isn't up to my standards!" I tossed my sandwich SO far to the other side. It worked just liked you said mom! Thanks for the emergency criniti kit, I was so close to being crinitied! Whew.
by Avionics unite October 21, 2016
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