Couch Philosopher

An individual who starts a typical day at 12:30pm to 1pm, and before doing anything they rip from a bong. Many are men in their late teens to early 20s living at their parents house (without any desire to leave) and if they aren't taking college classes online they are taking a gap year (or three) before deciding to sack-up and go to college where they would have to socialize. They are most commonly known to smoke weed ALL day watching their favorite animated shows in the basement and only having enough money to make a run to Taco Bell or some other grease trap. The typical couch philosopher doesn't have a car and just walks everywhere or bums rides... if they do have a car the oil hasn't been changed for about 5 years. Their favorite activity is to sit on the couch all day coming up with as many reasons why weed is the best thing in the world, how society should just smoke up 24/7, how they love licking liberal taint, and how cigarettes are so much worse for you. What they don't realize is that weed made them an apathetic fuck....A "Couch Philosopher"

Person 1- Why don't you like going to Dave's house?

Person 2- I actually wanna do something with my life and I feel like his laziness is going to rub off on me...plus i don't wanna hear those couch philosophers lecture me on the advantages of weed all day and why i shouldn't smoke my cigs.

Person 1- Shit.... your right, Daves going nowhere in life

Couch Philosopher by Pnation July 18, 2012

Get merch

Get the Couch Philosopher mug.

See more merch

Toe Rag

A toe rag was originally a foot wrapping used, since mediaeval times up until the mid-nineteenth century, to protect the foot from chafing by boots or shoes. As these were, quite literally, rags they weren’t usually washed, and so with use they became very smelly until they were thrown away. Because of the similarity in smell, toe rag also became the name applied to dried, salted cod or other things with a strong, unpleasant, fishy smell. It didn’t take that long before the name was applied to someone who was an obnoxious, unpleasant OIC.

1 “Socks! Those aren’t socks you smelly git, they’re toe rags!”
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.

Toe Rag by AKACroatalin November 29, 2016

Word of the Day on July 24, 2026

Get merch

Related Words

Couch Philosopher • couch • couch potato • couch fucker • couch dolphin • couch slut • couch surfing • COUCH TOMATO • Couch Bombing • couch dancing

Eternity leave

When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.

Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!

With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.

Eternity leave by LingDanc803 February 7, 2023

Word of the Day on July 23, 2026

Get merch

jody

The hypothetical man (often a sinister character who decided not to go to boot camp) that is doing your girlfriend/wife while you are on deployment overseas.

Ain't no use in goin home,
Jody's got your girl and gone.
Ain't no use in goin back,
Jody's got your Cadillac,
Ain't no use in feeling blue,
Jody's took your checkbook too.

jody by Sgt Apan March 31, 2006

Word of the Day on July 22, 2026

Get merch

girl grip

The ability girls and women have developed to hold several items at once in one hand. The skill has been developed due to the lack of pockets in women's clothing.

I thought she'd need multiple trips to carry her phone, keys, wallet, and Starbucks to her car since she needed the other hand to open the door, but she used her impressive girl grip to carry everything in one hand.

girl grip by SillyMilly33 July 31, 2023

Word of the Day on July 21, 2026

Get merch

Condiment home

A term that refers to one persons household hold nothing but ingredients and condiments in the kitchen area

Person A: Hey dude you got some snacks?
Person B: Nah, i live in a fucking condiment home...

Condiment home by Nooneinparticularcapiche? July 18, 2026

Word of the Day on July 20, 2026

Get merch

bang a you-ee

of Massachusetts orig. "to make a u-turn"

hey, we missed the bar, bang a you-ee

bang a you-ee by Pistolero Pierro May 4, 2008

Word of the Day on July 19, 2026

Get merch