Couch thief

a. That friend who somehow always ends up leaning on your life, crashing on your couch, and gives you nothing in return, i.e. when you're all watching TV, the couch thief asks you to get a soda for them, and when you return they've stolen your seat.

Brian is a couch thief. He venmo-ed me to split the Uber, even though he had a free ride.

by 60MinutesInHavana November 22, 2017