Conogram 

Falsely portraying a bit of admittedly nifty technology as being way more advanced than it is.
Also, something that CNN did to compete on the same level (read: lowest common denominator aka infotainment) as Fox. Lends a news program the objective crediblity equivalent to having Flava' Flav and Britney Spears MC the State of the Union Address.

Did you see the conogram on CNN last night during the election? That was just green-screening. My webcam can do that. Look, I'm in Maui now! Eat a dick, Wolf.

Conogram by JFork December 15, 2008

congrammer 

The opposite of a competent and conscientious computer programmer.

Congrammers usually don't RTFM and frequently deliver buggy and unmaintainable code, which programmers will loathe them for.

Congrammers survive in the corporate world by deceiving non-technical managers who naively appreciate them for their ass-kissing qualities and "yes sir" attitude. Some congrammers manage to go unsupervised, and by the time managers realize how badly they have damaged their product, it's sometimes too late to go back and have a programmer fix everything.

Congrammers are unlikely to give programmers any real credit for saving their projects, but programmers must willingly help them anyway since otherwise they won't be considered "team players".

Programmer 1: Hey, I can't follow this module.c code. It's filled with like magic constants and 2,000 line functions. I don't think this guy understood pointers, either... and why did he write his own shitty version of strtol()? WTF...

Programmer 2: Oh yeah... that was all done a while ago by Paul, our old congrammer at the time. After 3 years of shit they finally wised up and let him go. Your guess is as good as mine... Anyways, welcome to the team and good luck fixing that code.

Programmer 1: FML

congrammer by rylesny November 9, 2009

Congrampulations! 

Something you would say to a man who had just had a grandson or granddaughter as a way of congratulating them.

I heard Jessica just had a little girl. Congrampulations!

Congrampulations! by Zeebs The Middle November 1, 2013

congrampture 

A gathering of old men

The stripper was unable to arouse any response from the congrampture that had come to see her.

congrampture by Tyler Henry February 15, 2004

congramufuckinglation 

Congratulations when it has taking forever for something to be done or complete. When you have been waiting and praying to God for it to happen!

Congramufuckinglation you finally got the job transfer after waiting 9 months for your boss to decide.

congramufuckinglation by Amanda Taylor December 17, 2006

congramious 

An expression, that includes many emotions. When every feeling possible is felt all at once. Disappointed, pleased, angry, failure, surprised. Pretty much explosive with every emotion.

I had a congramious week. No one should ever work three separate jobs, two or three in one day.

congramious by Sneakypetes#1 June 23, 2011

congrammies 

A sarcastic form of congratulation for someone’s bad singing.

Congrammies on your rendition of never gonna give you up. It really was great.

congrammies by Thatsnotabrandofbread February 12, 2024