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Cockus Vaginitus 

A rather terrifying disease in which a vagina begins to grow on the underside of a man's penis. The starting stage resembles nothing more then a mere "cut" on the penis. The second stage is the formation of a clitoris directly above the said "cut." The third stage is the actual formation of the "lips" of the "Cockus Vaginitus." At which point, consulting a doctor is of an immediate emergency; to avoid any long-term damage. The final stage is the actual formation of a full female vagina, but on the underside of the male's penis. This is still under continuous studies for the connections of the actual Cockus Vaginitus being capable for sexual intercourse, as well as determining whether or not this turns an individual into a registered hermaphrodite.
"Hey, Jerry! What're your plans after work today?"

"I'm going to the doctors to get my penis checked out."

"Ew, gross! Why?"

"I think I may have Cockus Vaginitus."

"Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry, man."
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