Cocksucking Attorney 

1. Incorporates August 30, 2007 definition of the word Cocksucker.
2. Applies to attorneys who take one position on a legal matter.
3. However, in court, they actively exploit the legal matter to their benefit, to the detriment of others.
4. Typically used in situations related to poor ethics where the attorney puts their own personal interest ahead of their client or the courts.

1. (Class Action Settlement) "Did you hear about that settlement for the iThingy Defect? I got .38 cents for it and the attorneys at Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe told us they were doing this out of principle, and not looking for a payday, yet they received $62 million. Those Cocksucking Attorneys!"

2. (Litigation) "I can't believe the courts sanctioned me for bringing a frivolous lawsuit. Schlosky told my case was solid, made me pay him $5,000 to file this lawsuit, and now I have to pay a $10,000 fine to the court! Michael is such a Cocksucking Attorney!

3. (Public Debate) "Did you read Einhorn's argument against using waivers to disclaim fraud in court? Yet this guy is using the same tactics to get his dirty client off the hook? How can this Cocksucking Attorney sleep at night."

4. (Conflict of Interest) "I found out today that Lisa, my attorney for the malpractice suit that left me disabled, is a cousin for the doctor we're suing. How can I trust her when she's spending holidays with that monster. I now question everything she's ever told me about this case, and need to fire her ASAP. She is such a Cocksucking Attorney."

5. (Poorly managed expectations) "That Cocksucking Attorney Ralph told us to expect a windfall from being insulted by the waitress of Bojangles, we paid him over $100,000 to represent us, and all we got were coupons for free pancakes".

Cocksucking Attorney by JusticeThePup March 22, 2023