Cakeulate

To devour or destroy something as if it were cake.

To measure in units of cake.

To succeed at something easily in accordance with the phrase, "piece of cake".

I totally just cakeulated that quesadilla.

According to my cakeulations...we're going to need more cake.

I definitely cakeulated the bar exam.

by MrOrangutan December 22, 2014

Calculated

When someone does something really cool that took an outrageous amount of luck or effort. Sometimes it takes lots of planning.

Dude 1: I'm going to make this basket from 100 feet away!
Dude 2: Shit, can you really?
*Dude 1 makes the shot*
Dude 2: Shit Dude! That throw was calculated!

by prismajas May 30, 2018

capulate

another way of sayin cap (cap means lie)

so like if u are being 100% deadass honest u would say capulate

guy 1: i ain’t even capulate i’m lowkey depressed
guy 2: oh shit fr, ay yo pass the boof

by ay mf stfu August 13, 2019

calculated punctuation

The use of various punctuation marks in an attempt to make a statement made via instant message seem more stern or serious. Often used by women when holding conversations online to make one feel ashamed and/or guilty.

The following is a typical use of calculated Punctuation:
Angrychick08: I'm very upset with you, Steven.
Angrychick08: Have you anything to say for Yourself?
GuiltySteven: im sooo sorry il never say another girls name without your permission ever again
Angrychick08: Good boy.

by Cory A. M. April 14, 2008

Calculated

Acts intentionally to achieve something

Anyone who turns on their location for everyone when they are plotting is calculated (and a loser).

because they want others to see what they’re doing

by JC47 September 26, 2023

calculate my expenses

Term used when counting the amount of change in your pocket.

Wilson: You gonna come to the cinema?

James: I dunno let me calculate my expenses

by morgangills November 19, 2004

Calculate Someones Mom

Calculating a mom is a slang term used often in the Azerbaijani area's. In Azeri it is "hesablamaq sənin anan", which roughly translates to "Calculate your mother". In Azeri slang, it means to have sexual relations with someones mother, and after these relations, to upload a review on that mother to some social media. This term is often used in an incestial way. When used to talk about incest it leans more towards the meaning having un orthodox/taboo sex with your own mother.

Elnur: Yo dude have you seen Rashads mom?
Togrul: Yea man. I would totally calculate her.
Elnur: Hell yea. That way everyone can know how good that pussy is.
Togrul: fuck yea.

OR:
Elnur: your mom is totally hot
Togrul: yo I calculate that on the daily
Elnur: Yo bro that is crazy I also wanted to calculate your mom
Togrul: Bro that shit is mine. I am the only man calculating dat ass

OR
Togrul: man i really want to Calculate Someones Mom
Elnur: just calculate your own mom
Togrul: oh yea! thats a great idea!

by Hugetomhanks May 21, 2017