Beardsturbation 

1. Fondling of one's own facial hair for the sheer & immense pleasure of it.

2. Stroking the pubic area but focusing on the tufts of hair around the vagina.

"Robert's beard is looking stringy today"

"Yeah, he just had a vigorous bearsturbation session"

"I wouldn't have such a problem with her beardsturbation if she didn't do it so much in public

Beardsturbation by AndyRobertAlexDwyer March 12, 2013

bedsturbation 

When a guy lays face down to a bed and starts producing friction between said bed and his junk. Used at times in public spaces when said guy is horny and fakes being tired in order to bedsturbate.

Bedsturbation"

"Dude, we were talking about this hot chick in our hotel room and I got the hardest boner ever"
"And, what did you do?"
"What d'ya think? I bedsturbated.."

bedsturbation by sickguy1978 August 3, 2012

Beasturbation 

To masturbate with beast-like force. The act of extreme self-pleasure, sometimes involving painful sensations. It comes from the root of Beastiality, but it should not be confused with beastiality because this type of self-pleasure does not involve an animal. It only involves the animal-like force to pleasure ones self.

"As a single man, when I feel extra horny, I participated in beasturbation while watching The Office."

"Pam engaged in beasturbation so intensely using a guitar that it became out of tune for 2 years."

Beasturbation by coolpeople9809 August 31, 2011

Beardstruation 

When a female gets angry over your beard.

Stacy "your beard is poking me!"

Tod "I wish they made midol for beardstruation"

Stacy "They do its called shaving"

Beardstruation by Mr. Chump August 6, 2011