Assymptote

A friend you have always been close to, and continue to get closer to every day, but you will never date them, because they are an ass.

A: "Hey, you and C should date!"
B: "Nah, I like them, but they're an assymptote"

by RowdyDiversion June 5, 2016

asymptotic boyfriend

A boy who you are making out with, who approaches the state of boyfriend - without ever reaching it.

"My asymptotic boyfriend Matt continued to introduce me as his friend whenever we ran into people he knew while we were out, despite having been dating for a couple of months."

by carlygoodman July 30, 2007

Asymptote

Asymptote is basically the friendzone. You're really close but you can never touch.

Sorry, but you are just an Asymptote. Asympzone!

by Katherina Petrova April 9, 2017

Asymptote

A line that approaches a function's graph more and more closely, but never touches it. Asymptote are the limits of a graph.

HOLY SHIFT! LOOK AT THE ASYMPTOTE ON THAT MOTHER FUNCTION!

by Floral Winter February 22, 2010

Braveheart Asymptote

The school of thought in which a movie may approach the level of Braveheart, but may never reach it, only head towards the theoretical infinity where Braveheart resides.

It should be noted that the x-axis on which the Braveheart Asymptote exists does not necessarily refer to a single idea (i.e. quality, awesomeness, number of bagpipes) but rather everything that Braveheart is and all other movies aspire to be.

Dude 1: Independance Day was a fantastic movie, maybe better than Braveheart.
Dude 2: Unfortuntaly, that is impossible
Dude 1: Why's that?
Dude 2: Because of the Braveheart Asymptote.
Dude 1: Oh, yeah, ok I get it.

by Luckystrikered June 23, 2008

Assymptitties

The ratio of Ass to Titties that exists for all real numbers except for a point

"Hey professor, do you know how to find the Assymptitties of my dad's dead ex?

by Fearbacon123 December 8, 2020

asymptote dating

1/Dating; a relationship where you get progressively closer to dating but never actually reach dating. Not to be confused with pre-dating, asymptote dating never leads to actual dating.

Ugh! Why won't Alex and Jon get together??? They're totally asymptote dating.

by ohbb April 22, 2009