I regularly find myself, usually as I'm regaining consciousness after I
sleep, where (though I try) I have no control over my body and I have to sit there and wait while the processes in my brain that allow me to control my limbs come online. For, like, 1 to 60 seconds I am a soundless voice in an endless void. And that isn't a feeling I have. While it's happening the only feeling I have is, like, a mild
anxiety regarding my inability to gain control of my limbs. I have memory of the articulated thought I generated while I was in this state. Prime example is one
morning where I either dreamt there was or I awoke to a middle aged hispanic women standing in my apartment staring out of my
window. I raised my head but I was still struggling to gain access to my limbs and I yelled at her "What the fuck are you doing in my apartment!?" (And this isn't the state I'm
talking about by the way) but as she turned around and seemingly glided out of my apartment, I stumble as I was trying
chase her our of my apartment and my head fell into my
pillow and everything went
black and I was in this this state. I was fully conscious and I thought "Did I leave my door unlocked or something?" And I couldn't move my body and struggled to gain control of my limbs. It felt as though I was filling a glove or something. But THAT is the self.
It is the
first process that comes online when you gain conscious and the time span between that process coming online and the other processes can vary. But that isn't an illusion that my brain made me think I was experiencing. I
don't fault you for thinking than and I am sure some
people DON'T have a self or a sense of self but that isn't necessarily the maker of a high functioning mind.
Hym Iam "So the inverse is also
true. In the same way you describe the meditative state where you are fully present in your body you can, conversely, be in a state were you are relegated entirely to your own mind. And the reason I take issue with the assertion that it isn't
real is that it gives solipsistic, mentally retarded, and morality retarded
people license to be overconfident in the veracity of their own experience (which is more often than not delusion) and, thus, validate the solipsism. In the same way that this practice of weaponized schizophrenia gives
people license to denigrate me and deny me rights. And NOW... After being self-righteous in the inaction and making themselves an obstacle to me (deliberately and only because I
said that they were that) are trying to scapegoat me for the consequences of that decision they made so that they
don't have to live with the consequences of their failure to reason and/or spite."
