1. A wad of toilet paper that you have spit onto in an attempt to cleanse intimate areas after using the restroom necessitated by the unavailability (particularly in the deep south, e.g. Alabama) of legitimate baby wipes or wet wipes.
I was visiting friends that live in Alabama and after I dropped a deuce I was stunned to see that there were no wet wipes to use, so I was forced to improvise and make an Alabama Wet Wipe.
A degrading sexual act where the female lays on the bed and sticks her tongue out flat and the male drags his butthole across her tongue, in a similar motion to a dog dragging its butt across the ground.
When you spit on a piece of toilet paper add lubrication & reduce friction before wiping. *Disclaimer: This only works with high quality quilted bath tissues. Do not try this with cheap tp or you’ll punch a hole through & end up with a poop fingy
I was taking a poo in a friendsbathroom & it was one of those poo-of-1000 wipes, so I made myself an Alabama Wetwipe
Ruler of Lake Titicaca. Rumored to have a bunghole that gets very angry if it does not receive toilet paper. Cornholio the Great is often seen walking around with his shirt over his head and his hands in the air, chanting songs about his power, and his bunghole.
"I am Cornholio! You do not want to face the wrath of my bunghole, for I need TP!"
Butthead: Shut up, Beavis! (uh huh huh huh)
Beavis: Um, okay. (heh heh heh heh).