The medical term for the narrowing of an arterial road by coning off all but one lane thus slowing traffic to a crawl. A serious and incurable paroxysmal condition frequently presenting on a Friday evening when we're all trying to get home from work in the rush hour. Symptoms usually involve the pointless deposition of cones earlier the same day by highway maintenance crews having absolutely no intention of carrying out their work until the following Monday. As the disease progresses it becomes clear that their aim is to cause maximum buggeration over the nation's hard-earned weekend break.
Frightfully sorry, old girl. Stuck in a jam. M25's gone down with a bad dose of Acute coniform stenosis (ACS) so won't be home 'till late. Have my slippers, paper and a nice fat spliff waiting by my chair. Top hole and tally ho, what!
by Patrick Staton, Guildford, UK April 17, 2011