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A person, place, or action that cock-blocks you so hard that it were as efficient as Jean Claude Van Damme traveling time to abort the child you would have undoubtedly conceived had you not been cock-blocked so ruthlessly
The Hotel Astoria in San Francisco, that one friend everyone has that tries to railroad your hook-up, or full-blown AIDS

"Why did Terry tell her I nailed Jessica... that sonavabitch can be such an Abortion Timecop sometimes"
by Functional Derelict September 27, 2011
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