Westminster School

A college prep boarding school in Simsbury CT. This school seems extravagant and supportive but in reality, those aspects have been completely thrown away with the new headmaster. It has not even been two months and 8 students have withdrawn already. The community is amazing, that is if you don’t count the four stuck up deans and the inconsistant, ignorant headmaster. Their sports teams also suck and are going way downhill, just like the school itself. This may also be because all athletes do is smoke weed all day everyday because if they are on a varsity sport, they could never get in trouble! If you’re planning on sending your kid here, don’t, wait till Mrs. White and the 4 deans are gone.

“Hey did you hear what’s happening at Westminster School”

“Yes that schools sucks it’s going way downhill”

by Westysucks October 24, 2023

Westminster Alarm Clock

A sexual act closely related to a handjob. The receiver positions themselves so his phallus is accessible. At precisely the top of the hour, a partner grasps the receiver’s phallus and yanks on it with the force equivalent to the bell-ringers at Big Ben. This is succeeded by a shriek of either happiness or pain from the receiver. The amount of tugs depends on the time at the top of the hour. Dubbed “The Westminster Alarm Clock” due to Hugh Lupus Grosvenor, the Duke of Westminster, having the act performed on him prior to the construction of Big Ben. Disgruntled neighbors typically awoke to 8 loud evenly spaced shrieks each morning.

Gina: What time is it?
Colin: Noon. Why?
Gina: No reason…
Colin: AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH!
Charlie: Sounds like Colin is getting one hell of a Westminster Alarm Clock. Oh shit! It’s noon! I’m gonna be late for that lunch date!

by TESTICLETWISTER October 13, 2024