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Thats not what she said 

Opposite of 'thats what she said'. A phrase added to the front of another, innocent sounding statement, which is used to create a funny, possibly obscene, self esteem boosting comment implying that what has just been said is the opposite of what 'she' thinks.
Chris: Jordan your an absolute cunt. You told everyone im a virgin, you give me shit for not driving a Ford Cortina and you screwed my fucking missus!! Your just a useless piece of human garbage!

Jordan: Thats not what she said!

Chris: Thats it man your the biggest prick I know, im gonna fuck you up real good!

Jordan: Thats what she said!!