An Ooda-lollian is somebody you would think came right out of an old Disney animated movie a-la Baloo in The Jungle Book circa 1967. These are individuals whose life skills equal exactly two. The first would be the ability to sing the right words to a song (albeit off key) while smoking a stogie. Their second skill will always be some delusion they have of being the right mentor at any time, and miraculously convincing some disenfranchised youth the very same. The implications for those he sees as his wards can become dire. For instance, if a folie à deux were to evolve, the ooda-lollian could impress upon the youth that they are actually able to command wild beasts, fly from treetop to treetop, or even survive alone in the bush at the age of seven. Unfortunately, this is also how new Ooda-lollians come about. All it takes is one misguided sloth of an Ooda-lollian convincing anybody who might listen, that "you can do anything you put your mind to", one youth eventually experiencing a psychotic break, succumbing to the delusion, and renouncing the reality he was once part of to trigger a devolution the likes of which have never been documented.
Stupid Ooda-lollian thinks hes gonna teach me something about how to handle a wild honey badger. Shit, all's ya gotta do is stick your finger in it's little mouth. Oh wait, that was for beaver. My wife taught me that. She said that beavers like when you stick your finger in their little wet mouths.
by Jeepers McGillicutty March 12, 2023
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