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massachusetts baseball 

A lot of unathletic, rich white kids. Majority of them are going to be pitchers. The rest are Single - A shortstops.
"Welcome to the majors kid. Where are you from?"

"Springfield."

"Which one retard?"

"Massachusetts."

"Fucking Massachusetts baseball..."

"What?"

"Are you a pitcher?"

"Nope, shortstop."

...

"Lord, give my new friend and I the strength to see that he plays at least once this year. And if he does, don't make me go blind."