1 definition by tkunming

South Carolina

The capitol is Columbia, again making South Carolina well-known by being one of the worst capitols in the United States. They insisted on hanging a confederate flag above their capitol building until a few years ago when someone from another state brought an updated calendar to show them what year it was. Although they were shocked to hear the war was over, they did proclaim the south would "rise again," and this is commonly seen on the back of pickup trucks throughout the state driven by men with an average IQ of 40 and with four of his six children sitting in the bed of the truck playing with empty beer cans on the way back home from church. The only place of any worth in the entire state is Hilton Head Island. The majority of its residents are those from the northeast. That being said, Hilton Head is really beautiful, clean, and most of the residents speak English, with the exception of those who mow your lawn. Everywhere else is fairly unremarkable. If you're into tacky tourist attractions, go no further than Myrtle Beach. It's like an overweight, glue-sniffing southern counterpart to Las Vegas. Best avoided. In conclusion, if you're looking for your lost "rebel" identity and enjoy bathing in mediocrity, go no further than South Carolina. If you want uptight bitches from Charleston to tell you how southern "culture" is all about being classy and hospitable, ask her why that street down the road has twelve black families with the same last name as her.

Clueless A: "Man, South Carolina is so great. Palmetto State rules! Go Cocks!"

Clueless B: "Fuck yeah bro, I can't wait until I graduate from Clemson and go into construction!"

Voice of Reason: "You're both fucking nitwits, you have either Georgia, North Carolina or Florida to go to with infinite more possibilities but you choose to say in this infested backwater slum."

Clueless A and B: "Clemson rules! The south will rise again! Hey, where's my John Deere hat?"

by tkunming November 9, 2009