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Definitions by the universal hand gesturer

ass tone 

rectal trumpetry. particularly audible farting; possibly musical in character.
after raising his left cheek the man sitting next to me issued such rapid-fire ass tones, an open assault of both nose and ears.

kim jong ills 

gastro-intestinal distress brought on by the consumption of korean cuisine.
i don't know what they put in that Bibimbap last night, but i got such a case of the kim jong ills there was no living with me for a good 5 hours afterwards.