First, you slap-chop a mixture of cheeseburger, garbage and croc sandals while a group of illegal Mexican immigrants lick your butt hole. Then you lube yourself with said mixture and begin to forcefully insert yourself into a cardboard cutout of Ryan Seacrest. All the while listening to Reba McEntire's album "The Last One to Know".
Last night, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. So after crying during American Idol I completed Colbert's Nation.