2 definitions by lost in transfusion

Top Definition
When you wake up with an enormous stiff on, but fail to utilise it to its full potential, ie. cracking one out. This most often occurs when you are late for work/school, or you are at someone else's house, but why should that stop you? Be late for work or school because you were bashing one off, tell your boss that you were doing that and he will either have enormous respect for you or she will be extremely turned on and you will be able to give her the best office shag with an ending in production ever. NOICE.

The following are examples of what happens if you bash one off, like you should.
"why were you late for work this morning ted?"
"I was whapping one out this morning and totally lost track of time, turns out i have a lot more stamina than i thought..."
"nice dude! we wouldn't want a morning tragedy on our hands."

"why were you late for work this morning ted?"
"i was having an enormous wank over your huge tits this morning while i was in the shower, and i took a bit too long..."
"well how about you repay me the time you were late by fucking my arse while i'm bent over this desk?"
"right in the middle of the office in front of everyone?"
"how late was i?"
"a whole 2 minutes."
"i'll never last..."
(30 seconds of savage anal stretching occurs and then ted runs out of gas, blowing his non existent load onto the desk)
"shit man my cock hurts, i just jizzed out a load of air, my tanks are empty."
"what the hell are you doing?!?!"
"i'm sorry but i just cracked one out this morning so i havent exactly recovered."
"you're fired."
"shit dude, now i think ill just go home and have a nap, hussey style, yeahhhhh."
by lost in transfusion June 02, 2009
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When you have just smashed one out, and your wife or girlfriend or any regular whore asks you to make sweet sweet fuck to her, and you do it, but when you come the amoung of sperm that is produced couldn't even bukkake a sea monkey. Very embarrassing.
(walks into bathroom and sees wife's victorias secret catalogue in magazine rack conveniently placed next to toilet for literate shits.)

"oh victoria silstedt you don't know what you are doing to me..."

(blows a huge load of spunk into the toilet, wipes his bell end with a piece of bog roll, and then proceeds to wash his hands and wait around for a minute until his boner subsides and it is safe to go back out to dinner with his friends in the dining room. when he goes out all of his friends have gone and his wife is stood there naked, she says "fuck me barry" he jumps right on her ass, and starts riding her like a donkey on blackpool beach, that is, very slowly and being led by a dirty gypsy holding a rope. she screams "i want you to come all over my tits!" he thinks "fucking victoria silvstedt, so damn sexy arrrggghhh." eventually he is forced to come through what is essentially mollesturbation from his wife, and produces a puddle of weak ass sperm no larger than a one penny piece, the new ones at that. everybody feels very bad , and they go and drink a cup of tea.)

by lost in transfusion June 02, 2009
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