hodags1966's definitions

standing pike

The contortionist position that men assume so as to attempt to piss in the toilet with a hard-on in the middle of the night. The position, bent 90 degrees at the waist with legs and trunk straight, is also sometimes used in yoga.

"Despite my 3 a.m. standing pike I still pissed all over the back of the toilet."

"Well don't expect me to clean it up."

by hodags1966 July 22, 2018

control-f years

The years of life spent trying to find oneself and figure out what he or she will do with their life. Typically someone's 20's. These youngsters often feel a bit lost about their place in the world but usually have a blast looking.

"I love my family and all that, but, damn, I miss my control-f years."

by hodags1966 January 23, 2018

neutral bagprint

The practice of always refusing a plastic bag when buying merchandise, from which pride and worthiness is generated.

Clerk: "Do you want that in a bag?"

Shopper: "No. I maintain a neutral bagprint."

Clerk, murmuring: "Go fuck yourself."

Shopper walks to gas-guzzling SUV.

by hodags1966 October 9, 2017