rise of nations (roblox)

a roblox game where you pick a country and instantly start LARPing as god of geopolitics, except your “divine plan” is just spamming ally requests before stabbing people in the back. wars pop off because some 12-year-old decided “jesus told me to invade saudi arabia,” and five minutes later the map looks like the apocalypse. the economy is fucked, the lag feels like a punishment from hell, and somehow ethiopia ends up nuking russia because the player had the patience of a monk with wifi. it’s basically civilization, but stripped of strategy and blessed with pure chaos.

me: "i’ll play peacefully as sweden, spread love not war”
chat: “BY THE POWER OF ALLAH, WAR DECLARED”
also me: gets fucking baptized in napalm by peru
conclusion: never play rise of nations (roblox)

by affogatoenjoyer123 August 19, 2025

rise of nations

a roblox game where you pick a country and instantly start LARPing as god of geopolitics, except your “divine plan” is just spamming ally requests before stabbing people in the back. wars pop off because some 12-year-old decided “jesus told me to invade saudi arabia,” and five minutes later the map looks like the apocalypse. the economy is fucked, the lag feels like a punishment from hell, and somehow ethiopia ends up nuking russia because the player had the patience of a monk with wifi. it’s basically civilization, but stripped of strategy and blessed with pure chaos.

me: "i’ll play peacefully as sweden, spread love not war”
chat: “BY THE POWER OF ALLAH, WAR DECLARED”
also me: gets fucking baptized in napalm by peru
conclusion: never play rise of nations

by affogatoenjoyer123 August 19, 2025