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Definitions by Toight-like-a-tygah

toothpaste in my hair 

the excuse you use when you blow someone before work and get their jizz in your hair and you try to get your coworker to cover for you so you can go home and wash the jizz out but you can’t reveal that’s it’s jizz so you say it’s toothpaste
Hey, can you cover my shift? I’ve got toothpaste in my hair.

makes my asshole pucker 

To make angry, exasperate, irritate, annoy the fuck out of
Jeremiah really makes my asshole pucker with his constant questions!