Saturday's Issue's definitions

Futonic

A type of relationship where one party is indisputably moored in the "friendzone." The result of that relationship inevitably leads to one party always sleeping on the futon, while the other gets the bed.

Friendzoner: "Hey, I'm feeling a little lonely, would you come over and watch a movie with me? You can sleep over if you like."
Friendzonee: "Really?!?"
Friendzoner: "Absolutely, but we have to keep it strictly futonic."

Friendzonee: "Ok, but can I cuddle with the cat tonight?"
Friendzoner: "For sure"

by Saturday's Issue November 28, 2011