When you’re all combative in the hospital we give this drug (B52) to you to knock you the fuck out. It’s a great nap until you wake up. B52 is also the most epic drug name ever and it really gets the point across.
Patient: “yoooo guess what?”
Other patient: “what?”
Patient: “remember that one code gray at around 7pm on march 22nd in the pediatric ED in room 1?”
Other patient: “ummm what did you do?”
Patient: “beat the shit outta the doctor for being a doctor, got B52 and everything.”
Other patient: “haha dope.”
*fistbump*
Other patient: “what?”
Patient: “remember that one code gray at around 7pm on march 22nd in the pediatric ED in room 1?”
Other patient: “ummm what did you do?”
Patient: “beat the shit outta the doctor for being a doctor, got B52 and everything.”
Other patient: “haha dope.”
*fistbump*
by Sacredfart March 30, 2023
Get the B52 mug.A typa school where Karen parents send their special little snowflake kids. They think their kids are learning until the kids enter a traditional high school and don’t know basic math.
Teacher: “I can’t keep tutoring this kid after school every week. He has like 9 other tutors but he just doesn’t understand the content. He’s like 3 grade levels behind.”
Parent: “that’s impossible, he went to Montessori. He’s perfect, absolutely my flawless angel, you are a BASTARD for considering such a thing of him being behind. He is only too smart for you peasants.”
Parent: “that’s impossible, he went to Montessori. He’s perfect, absolutely my flawless angel, you are a BASTARD for considering such a thing of him being behind. He is only too smart for you peasants.”
by Sacredfart February 19, 2023
Get the Montessori mug.Someone how’s at the hospital a lot.
- can be used derogatorily to accuse a patient of being overdramatic, being a hypochondriac, lying, or drug seeking.
- can be used lightheartedly by staff or the patient to refer to people with severe chronic illnesses.
- can be used rudely to suggest that a chronic illness patient is a burden.
- can be used derogatorily to accuse a patient of being overdramatic, being a hypochondriac, lying, or drug seeking.
- can be used lightheartedly by staff or the patient to refer to people with severe chronic illnesses.
- can be used rudely to suggest that a chronic illness patient is a burden.
My immunocompermised ass: *walking into my biweekly urgent care appointment*
The PA student: “I’m just super nervous to do my first clinical exam by myself.”
The PA: *points at me* “ you can take the frequent flyer. She’s easy and the answer is always antibiotics.”
The PA student: “I’m just super nervous to do my first clinical exam by myself.”
The PA: *points at me* “ you can take the frequent flyer. She’s easy and the answer is always antibiotics.”
by Sacredfart March 20, 2023
Get the Frequent flyer mug.Connotation: medical slang
Definition: The amount of physical energy someone has to do a specific task.
Etiology: Comes from the psychological “spoon theory” (look that up separately I ain’t explaining it)
Definition: The amount of physical energy someone has to do a specific task.
Etiology: Comes from the psychological “spoon theory” (look that up separately I ain’t explaining it)
Someone: “wanna hang out today?”
Me: “Nah I don’t have enough spoons for that, I’m planning on napping.”
Someone: “tf is a spoon?”
Me: “Nah I don’t have enough spoons for that, I’m planning on napping.”
Someone: “tf is a spoon?”
by Sacredfart November 02, 2022
Get the Spoons mug.A volunteer program for high school and college students going into medicine. But they just walk around the hallways at hospitals in a school uniform and aren’t allowed to do anything.
You (a covid patient): *starts bleeding out and like the blood squirts, the blood literally hit the ceiling fan and now is all over the room moving at a high velocity*
Health scholar: *stares at you through the window.
You: “TF ARE YOU DOING? HELP ME!!”
Health scholar: “I can’t go in covid rooms.”
Nurse: “oh god okay I’ll help you!” *looks at health scholar* “put pressure on it while I get blood.”
Health scholar: “no I can’t go into covid rooms. Also why aren’t you wearing proper PPE?”
Nurse: “CAUSE ITS AN EMERGENCY!!”
Health scholar: *writing in a binder
Nurse 2: “tf are you doing? Go get some g-“
Health scholar: “I’m writing an incident report. ‘Patient was bleeding, patient had covid, nurse was a bitc-‘“
You: *died
God: it was fucking cope health scholars fault.
Health scholar: *stares at you through the window.
You: “TF ARE YOU DOING? HELP ME!!”
Health scholar: “I can’t go in covid rooms.”
Nurse: “oh god okay I’ll help you!” *looks at health scholar* “put pressure on it while I get blood.”
Health scholar: “no I can’t go into covid rooms. Also why aren’t you wearing proper PPE?”
Nurse: “CAUSE ITS AN EMERGENCY!!”
Health scholar: *writing in a binder
Nurse 2: “tf are you doing? Go get some g-“
Health scholar: “I’m writing an incident report. ‘Patient was bleeding, patient had covid, nurse was a bitc-‘“
You: *died
God: it was fucking cope health scholars fault.
by Sacredfart May 12, 2023
Get the Cope health scholars mug.Used to represent the idea that therapy is a pyramid scheme. Basically the idea that people who need therapy go and advertise it to everyone and says vague stuff like “everyone needs a little therapy” and advertise that in schools, on TV and stuff without actually explaining what therapy is and why they need it.
Dr: “I mean chronic illness is really hard to deal with, you should try therapy.”
Patient: “no.”
Dr: “well we all need some therapy.”
Patient: “oh but that’s what they want you to think. Big therapy just says that so that they can sell more therapies.
Patient: “no.”
Dr: “well we all need some therapy.”
Patient: “oh but that’s what they want you to think. Big therapy just says that so that they can sell more therapies.
by Sacredfart April 01, 2023
Get the Big Therapy mug.When you’re in the hospital for long periods of time and your ankles blow up like little balloons. This happens cause IV fluids and limited range of motion.
*it’s 3am, the unit is dark and quiet and the patient is in a deep sleep*
Patient: “what are you doing?”
Nurse: “shhh, I’m looking at your feet, go back to sleep.”
Patient: “what?”
Nurse: “you have a severe case of hospital kankles.”
Patient: “what are you doing?”
Nurse: “shhh, I’m looking at your feet, go back to sleep.”
Patient: “what?”
Nurse: “you have a severe case of hospital kankles.”
by Sacredfart November 17, 2022
Get the Hospital Kankles mug.