Definitions by Rog Wally
Peter myself
The tragic medical phenomenon of racing home with a critical gut alert, successfully navigating the hallway, making triumphant eye contact with the toilet bowl, and immediately blowing out liquid diarrhea down both legs and across the floor. You crossed the finish line in your mind, but your bowels surrendered inches too early.
"Dave, why are your trousers in the outside bin?"
"I unlocked the door, saw the seat, and completely Peter’ed myself on the bathroom tiles."
"Whatever you do, don't look at the seat until your belt is undone, or you will peter yourself all over the hallway tiles."
"I was right at the threshold of the bathroom, locked eyes with the bowl, and proceeded to completely peter myself."
"I unlocked the door, saw the seat, and completely Peter’ed myself on the bathroom tiles."
"Whatever you do, don't look at the seat until your belt is undone, or you will peter yourself all over the hallway tiles."
"I was right at the threshold of the bathroom, locked eyes with the bowl, and proceeded to completely peter myself."
Peter myself by Rog Wally September 1, 2026
