1 definition by Please make the screaming stop
The final installment in the twilight saga that crushed the souls of thousands and thousands of crazed teenaged girls with it's horrible and slightly perverted themes.
SPOILERIFIC SUMMARY:
- Bella, the human, and Edward, the vampire, get married.
- Then they have rough sex that leaves her bruised and battered. (Also, he bites a pillow and covers her with feathers.)
- Then she gets totally pregnant with some kind of demon death baby who grows at a superhuman rate, can read thoughts in the womb, drinks blood in utero, and breaks Bella's ribs, pelvis, and spine from the inside.
- Some werewolf stuff happens and Jacob (20 year old werewolf) falls in love with the tiny demon death baby which sparked many confused and slightly disturbed comments and thoughts in readers around the country.
- The baby is delivered via Cesarean section, which is a polite way of saying that other characters rip Bella's stomach open with their teeth. ("Seriously, they cannot make this into a movie. I cannot imagine for one second how they could make this into a movie appropriate for teenage girls and keep this part in it.")
- Bella becomes a vampire and develops superpowers and has sex with Edward a lot of times.
- Everybody lives happily forever after.
The book does however leave one major unanswered question: What's it like doing it with the undead? "Was it like fucking a popsicle?" Alas, we'll never know.
The book was met with an awful response from the fans and motions to return every copy have been put in place.
SPOILERIFIC SUMMARY:
- Bella, the human, and Edward, the vampire, get married.
- Then they have rough sex that leaves her bruised and battered. (Also, he bites a pillow and covers her with feathers.)
- Then she gets totally pregnant with some kind of demon death baby who grows at a superhuman rate, can read thoughts in the womb, drinks blood in utero, and breaks Bella's ribs, pelvis, and spine from the inside.
- Some werewolf stuff happens and Jacob (20 year old werewolf) falls in love with the tiny demon death baby which sparked many confused and slightly disturbed comments and thoughts in readers around the country.
- The baby is delivered via Cesarean section, which is a polite way of saying that other characters rip Bella's stomach open with their teeth. ("Seriously, they cannot make this into a movie. I cannot imagine for one second how they could make this into a movie appropriate for teenage girls and keep this part in it.")
- Bella becomes a vampire and develops superpowers and has sex with Edward a lot of times.
- Everybody lives happily forever after.
The book does however leave one major unanswered question: What's it like doing it with the undead? "Was it like fucking a popsicle?" Alas, we'll never know.
The book was met with an awful response from the fans and motions to return every copy have been put in place.
by Please make the screaming stop August 5, 2008